Steroid Stress

I think I have just about managed to have a go at anyone and everyone who have come within a 5 mile radius of me today. I have had no holds barred anger...I don't know whether it is me getting angry with the cancer or  it's the steroids I am on, thankfully I am not on them now for a couple of weeks. I take them to stop any reaction with the chemo. But boy am I pissed off!!! (it doesn't help that I have zero oestrogen too) I have no tolerance for anyone, I think I need to crawl into a little box for a couple of days labelled 'Mad Bitch DO NOT OPEN'....no such luck. I have to get my finances sorted tomorrow as my student loan is no longer valid, my daughter is ill with high temp, so I have had little sleep, she has decided that she is going to regress in the toilet training department too. I know it is probably the stress of what is going on for her too, there is no way I couldn't have told her what is going on but I know she is taking on every minute detail and analysing it and it takes alot of her brain space. I wish I could make it easier for her instead of being the grumpiest mum from hell!

I really could benefit from a punch bag at the moment, I think I might go for a run tomorrow until I can't run anymore, I don't have my girl tonight or in the morning, so a run, some hitting of pillows, some saying of angry words some qi gong then I have a course of yoga nidra at the weekend I will recover some serenity and grown upness ready for my daughters return....still no sign of tattoo however.........they were compassionate and friendly in the end though and have refunded me and are still sending the tattoo design.....

There is hope for kindness, someone will always be kind that makes me feel better. I feel like such an attention seeker, blogging, raging with everyone, posting cancer on my facebook every 5 minutes cancer cancer cancer, daughter talks about it non stop, I am sure people get bored hearing about it. thank you to those that don't. I raise a glass to you reading this....it sucks the whole business and I appreciate those that 'get it'. The Pickering Centre for instance, working tirelessly to help and support people like me they are truly special people who really do know 'the score'. Feel better already for blogging. Thank you to you bloggee for listening you 'get it' x