Back so soon!!!!!?

This is the only way i can describe where i am right now. A drift in a blizzard of numb ice. The stupid thing is I knew it wouldn't be long before i was back, back harping on about this blasted cancer again. The last few weeks healthy eating has gone out of the window entirely, even forgot the turmeric on occassions, i was making the most of the calm before the storm, before i have to work hard to be healthy again, concentrate on the supplements and do my best. Yes it is back....the letrozole has stopped working although to be honest i am not sure whether i was checked to see if it ever did!!more lesions on the liver, despite the turmeric. i knew, months ago i have been having pain on my liver I even told them about it, but they didn't check it, not until now, infact my gp gave me medicine for reflux (shakes head in despair)!!. I am to take capecitabine, an oral chemo....i am not happy about it, it makes me wonder whether chemo is making the cancer more aggressive as it has taken very little time for it to grow new lesions since my last treatment. So I am formulating my plan B and researching Rigvir in Latvia as a serious option. I may have to look at crowdfunding myself, but I have a strong belief that my chances would be higher with this treatment. My Onc says 'do you not think we would be using it as oppose to chemo in the UK if it worked' I don't buy this for one moment, NICE,  are funding immuno therapy for triple negative BC but not ER+ secondary, it is a postcode lottery of funds, they dont rely on other countries research only their own which is why we have been stuck in a chemo time warp as they won't fund adequate research. I have seen women go down this drawn out path of chemo ville and it never ends well. Short of asking for a transplant i dont know what choice i have. I am going to ask them to scan my brain too as they haven't done that yet, i am worried about recent headaches......... There I was thinking about dating again.....PA! While i lie in bed with my daughter and my dog at my mums house, my family and my friends are all that matter now and once again my world has become very small, a terrain of cavernous chasms of ice, steep drops and little else....I am gathering strength though, I am not going to give up.